Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
