in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
