The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
it's like heaven, but drunker
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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