And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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