"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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