FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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