Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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