Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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