Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
tell me about the eggs
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