It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
