I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
