What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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