pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
