Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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