i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Is it because I queefed?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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