i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
