Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
