dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
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Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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