Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He better not be in your backpack
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
