...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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