literally had 100 drinks last night.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
