a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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