he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
