i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Randomize