Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
