No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
