How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
