You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize