If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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