She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize