Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
