it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
