but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
