in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
