RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
