i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
