I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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