I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Text me some of your sweat
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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