it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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