Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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