he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
