Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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