my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize