I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize