if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i now understand why vodka
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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