just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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