: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize