great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
