you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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