i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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