there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i came on her dog
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
