The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
