HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I need water and some morals
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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