Cold hands, warm shart.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So apparently I’m into choking now
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