Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
