As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
