this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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