wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
