The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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