I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
