Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
