The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
