Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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